InnerThought

The prompt for this story is a re-telling of Red Riding Hood. After much deliberation I thought it would be fun to have the entire story occur in an IRC chatroom. As such I use jargon that is known in such chatrooms. I tried to explain some of the more obscure phrases, but there are some things I just couldn’t figure out how to explain easily. If this story flies over your head completely, sorry, my next story probably wont. The story after the jump.

> Saturday, July 2, 2011
> The topic for #freedom is: Keep your nose clean the lumber jack may be watching
> AcidBurn left the room (connection reset by peer).
> r3dH∞d entered the room

r3dH∞d (10:23): Hey all!
r3dH∞d (10:23): Anyone want to take a trip through the woods?
killer_toffu (10:23): Hiya r3dH∞d
n00b_crusher (10:24): i’m up for a stroll in the woods. are we going to visit grandma?

> wolfm@n entered the room
> theREALslimshady entered the room

ArchAngelNix (10:24): What makes you think you can get to grandma’s this time, r3dH∞d?
r3dH∞d (10:24): killer_toffu: Sup?
r3dH∞d (10:24): n00b_crusher: Great! We need to see what openings they have. Can you run nmap?
r3dH∞d (10:25): ArchAngelNix: It’s Saturday morning, what else is there to do?
theREALslimshady (10:25): What’s nmap?
ArchAngelNix (10:25): A scanner that finds open ports on remote machines. http://nmap.org/
killer_toffu (10:26): ArchAngelNix: Don’t encourage him.
killer_toffu (10:26): theREALslimshady: If you don’t know, then Google it and stop bothering us! n00b!
theREALslimshady (10:26): I’m not a n00b, I just forgot what nmap was.

> jim entered the room

w0lfm@n (10:26): Nmap rocks! I don’t know where I’d be without nmap.
r3dH∞d (10:27): w0lfm@n: +1
n00b_crusher (10:28): hey r3dH∞d, it looks like grandma has a wk2 box and they have iis and smb open
killer_toffu (10:28): n00b_crusher: Do you have a patch level?
r3dH∞d (10:28): Pulling up exploits for rdp and smb.
theREALslimshady (10:29): So Grandma is running a Windows 2003 server, they have the remote desktop protocol port and the Windows file sharing port open. That is great, since those have a lot of holes in them.
killer_toffu (10:30): theREALslimshady: Just spelling out what we said wont convince us that you aren’t a n00b.
n00b_crusher (10:30): crushes n00bs for fun!
n00b_crusher (10:30): it looks like it’s all patched up.

> Private Message (PM) Request from: w0lfm@n. Accept Y or N [y]: y

PM: w0lfm@n (10:31): Hi r3dH∞d.
PM: r3dH∞d (10:31): Hi. Can I help you?
PM: w0lfm@n (10:31): Not really, but I want to help you.
r3dH∞d (10:32): Okay I’ve found 2 smb and 1 iis exploits. Who has meta ready?
ArchAngelNix (10:33): I’m running, what are the numbers r3dH∞d?

> jim left the room

r3dH∞d (10:34): ArchAngelNix: ms08_067, ms06_040, meta-1260
PM: w0lfm@n (10:34): Why are you doing this?
PM: r3dH∞d (10:34): Why am I doing what?
ArchAngelNix (10:35): Trying ms08_067…
PM: w0lfm@n (10:35): There is nothing at grandma’s and you know it, why the relentless attacks?
theREALslimshady (10:36): I tried using metasploit with ms06 but I don’t think I did it right, any suggestion?
killer_toffu (10:36): Leave the exploit’s to the proffessional theREALslimshady.
killer_toffu (10:36): n00b_crusher: It’s time to crush theREALslimshady.
theREALslimshady (10:36): NO!1! I’m not a n00b!

> theREALslimshady has been banned

n00b_crusher (10:36): loves banning n00bs.
killer_toffu (10:36): xD
ArchAngelNix (10:36): ms08 a no go, trying ms06…
PM: r3dH∞d (10:37): Who are you?
PM: w0lfm@n (10:37): Let’s say a concerned 3^rd party.
PM: r3dH∞d (10:37): You’re a cop aren’t you?!?!?
PM: w0lfm@n (10:37): No, but I do care about you keeping your nose clean.
PM: w0lfm@n (10:38): I can help you, but you need to stop your assault on grandma.
PM: r3dH∞d (10:38): Why should I believe you? You are passing the duck test for a nark.
PM: w0lfm@n (10:38): Duck test?
PM r3dH∞d (10:38): n00b!
PM r3dH∞d (10:39): If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and waddles like a duck, then it’s a duck.
PM: w0lfm@n (10:39): I see. I’m not a nark or a cop. Stop the attacks on grandma and let’s make a deal.
ArchAngelNix (10:40): ms06 a no go, trying meta-1260
r3dH∞d (10:40): ArchAngelNix: Stop! I think we have a tracer.
ArchAngelNix (10:40): What? How can you tell, I’m running the exploit.
ArchAngelNix (10:40): Exploit aborted
n00b_crusher (10:40): whoah, what’s going on r3dH∞d?
killer_toffu (10:40): But we are so close to breaking Grandma!
r3dH∞d (10:41): I think the lumber jack is watching.
killer_toffu (10:41): Ah ****!

> killer_toffu has left the room
> ArchAngelNix has left the room

n00b_crusher (10:42): wimps! I guess they don’t use tor to connect to irc. n00bs!
r3dH∞d (10:42): n00b_crusher +1
PM: w0lfm@n (10:43): Thank you. Is your email r3dhood@gmail.com?
PM r3dH∞d (10:43): How did you get that!?!?!?
PM: w0lfm@n (10:43): Thought so. You’ll be contacted. And we are watching you r3dH∞d. Don’t mention this conversation to any one.

> w0lfm@n has left the room

n00b_crusher (10:45): so… r3dH∞d are we going after grandma’s again?
r3dH∞d (10:46): Maybe another time. The woods don’t seem so inviting any more.
n00b_crusher (10:47): just great. now what am I going to do with the rest of my saturday?

> r3dH∞d has left the room